Ukrainian
Wedding - Culture and Traditions
Ukrainian wedding traditions have a long history. Unfortunately,
at the present times, fewer and fewer of ancient wedding customs
and traditions take place at a contemporary Ukrainian wedding. However,
the most interesting traditions have remained.
We will describe a contemporary Ukrainian wedding. So, the wedding
ceremony begins 30-40 days before the wedding itself. The bridegroom,
his parents and friends must ask the bride's parents for her hand.
The bridegroom's parents come with a Ukrainian round loaf (homemade,
round, big bread beautifully decorated). The round loaf is delivered
on an embroidered towel made by the bridegroom's mother, and on
top of the bread there is some salt.
The bridegroom's father and friends ask for "bride's
hand". Usually, her father gives an answer, after asking his
daughter about her decision ' whether she wants to marry the young
man or not. If the bride wishes to take this guy as her future life
partner, the bridegroom's and bride's parents discuss the time and
place of the wedding party. But'if the girl does not wish to marry
the guy, she gives him a pumpkin!
The wedding day' Dressing a bride is a special ritual.
Bride's friends have been with her since early morning. They put
a gown on her, make a hair-do and put on a bridal veil'
The bridegroom comes to his bride in a car decorated
with flowers, ribbons and balloons. Sometimes, a doll dressed like
a bride is placed on the car's hood. When the car (or cars) comes
up to the house of the bride, they start to honk.It means that the
bridegroom and his relatives are ready to take the bride, her parents
and friends to the church and city hall, to get married and register
their marriage. When the bridegroom and bride walk out of the bride's
house, the bride's mother throws seeds (symbol of wellbeing) onto
their heads, as well as roseleaves (symbol of prosperity and health)
and coins (symbol of financial stability in a family).
The official registration of marriage in the City
Hall starts with the sound of fanfares. A Ukrainian embroidered
towel is spread at the feet of the couple, they stand on it and
the ceremony begins. In fact, at this place, the bridegroom and
bride become husband and wife. Exactly, in the City Hall, the long
awaited phrase "Zoya, do you agree to take Oleg as your husband,
to be with him in sadness and grief, to be faithful until death
separates you'" is pronounced.
After the ceremony, the spouses receive congratulations
from friends and relatives. The "newly-made" husband takes
his wife from the City Hall in his arms.
The next stage ' getting married in church. The most
touching and important moment to the couple, their parents, friends
and relatives. The priest blesses the new family for happiness,
health, luck, faithfulness, understanding, love and respect for
one another.
God's blessing is the most serious blessing for the
new family. There are many prejudices connected with the ceremony
in church. They say that if the bride's dress catches the fire from
a candle, it means that the marriage is doomed. So it is quite understandable
that the bride's mother is always very careful in church, and does
her best to prevent any of such things.
The third stage ' celebration. The most joyful, surprising
and unexpected things may happen this evening. The party takes place
in a restaurant, caf' or at the home of the bridegroom or bride.
All the guests come with gifts. In Ukraine, ordinary things can
be presents at a wedding, which first of all, will be necessary
in a young family: kitchen utensils, linen, home appliances, etc.
The party starts with congratulations from relatives
and friends. After each toast, the guests shout "Gorka! Gorka!
Gorka!" It means that the guests want to see the married couple
kiss one another. One must note that the number of kisses at the
wedding, as some bridegrooms have noticed, exceed the number of
kisses received throughout the whole period of dating.
When the guests have paid enough attention to the
married couple, their attention goes to the bride's and bridegrooms
best friends. To be the best friends of the couple at the wedding
is a very honorable and responsible task. The bride chooses her
best friend (unmarried girl) who helps the bride with all pre-wedding
preparations. It is she who puts down her signature in the document
certifying the marriage.
So, what is the role of the bridegroom's and the bride's
best friend' They are called "witnesses". When the guests
shout "Gorko" to the witnesses, it means that the guests
want to see them kiss, too! At one of international weddings which
took place in our city, there was a funny thing. The guests were
shouting "Gorko" to the witnesses. The bridegroom's best
friend spoke no Russian, so he was not really paying attention the
shouts and continued to enjoy the delicious meal from his plate.
When the interpreter explained to him what was required, the guy
blushed. Anyway, he did not refuse from a kiss from the bride's
best friend. Later on, at the end of the evening, he asked the guests
to shout "Gorko" to the witnesses again.
During the party, dancing is a must. Everybody dances
' the guests, the parents, and the newly-married couple. But'a dance
between the bridegroom and his mother-in-law and between the bride
and her father-in-law is a must at each wedding party. Moreover,
the bridegroom must prove that he will take good care not only of
his wife, but also of his mother-in-law. In the presence of all
the guests, the bridegroom declares that he will also be kind to
his mother-in-law, and as a sign of his attention, he presents her
with a pair of boots, which he puts on her!
However' a trial is expecting the bridegroom. It may
happen that the bride may be stolen, and the guests will ask the
bridegroom to pay 50-500 grivnas (10-100$) for her shoes, or even
for the bride herself - even a bigger sum.
All guests are sure that the newly married couple
will be the happiest family. But it stirs everyone's curiosity -
who will be the head of the family - He or She' National tradition
helps to clear up this issue. The newly married are given traditional
bread and they try to break it apart. The head of the family will
be the person who has got a larger part of it left in the hands!
This ritual is more like a joke on the wedding party, but as time
goes by it becomes obvious that traditional ceremonies are telling
truth!
At the end of the party the custom of turning the
bride into wife takes place. The bride is dancing waltz with all
the young, unmarried girls present at the party. This is a sign
that every young girl has the right for happiness, family and children.
However, which of the present young girls will be the first one
to get married depends on who catches the bouquet thrown by the
bride backwards, over her left shoulder!
After the bride says "good bye" to her friends
(young girls), a bride's mother's friend brings the round loaf to
the bride and uncovers her bridal veil. Instead, a Ukrainian national
kerchief is placed on her head. A young bride has turned into a
married woman!
The wedding is over! Long live a new family!
As our foreign witness once said, "We enjoyed the Ukrainian
wedding very much! We'll come again".
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