Kashmiri Wedding Culture and Traditions

Kashmir is the paradise of India. It is valley which constitutes Dal Lake, shikaras and palm trees. The sight of migratory birds in a half frozen water of the lake give a very impressive view to the onlookers. Kashmir is the beautiful valley with mountains making its backdrops and freezy air filling the atmosphere. Kashmiri society is a symbol of traditions

Kashmir is also famous for its rich food and culture. In Kashmiri society, the marriage is regarded a pious relationship between a man and a woman. Kashmiris believe in caste system. When a search for the prospective partner is to be conducted, it passes from mouth to mouth that a certain person is interested to marry off his son or daughter.

Kundlis or horoscopes which are called teknis play a great role in match making. The compatibility of the couple depends upon the stars.
After this kasamdry is performed, this is a ceremony which is acceptance to the marriage. The family and relatives of the girl and boy gather in a temple in front of deity. They exchange flowers. Often, simple dishes like hot milk with crisp naan are served from the girl’s side.

At the goom’s house, bua or paternal aunt of the boy prepares the special dish called “var” in pure ghee and garnish it with almonds. It is then distributed as Prasad to all the relatives and neighbors.

Engagement ceremony is fixed where all the relatives and friends of both parties gather and they are served with the kahwa.

The maid of the groom’s family would then take the gifts to the girl’s home. It will include ring, pheran which means a kashmiri outfit, head gear and sindoor. She also carries a sweet dish decorated with almonds in a silver vessel which she herself feeds to the girl attired in the dress which has come from the groom’s side. She is handsomely rewarded for her services. Now it’s the turn of girl’s family to reciprocate the whole process.

Till the day of wedding, music and dances are performed in the every evening and the pink tea is served to everyone.

‘Livun’ is an exceptional ceremony which is held in the kashmiri culture alone. The cleaning of both the houses is done.

On the wedding day, again var is prepared and distributed. Girl is bathed by her maternal aunt and henna is applied on her hands and feet.

‘Devgon’ is a haven which is performed in the both houses where priest would enchant the mantras and the girl and boy will pray to the Shiva and Parvati to seek their blessings for the new life.

At the lagan, boy and girl sat beside fire and Vedas are enchanted by the priest. Both boy and girl cross their hands which are covered with a cloth. The silver threads are tied on their foreheads. Then they put their left feet on each other and then on ‘Kawacha’ which is a grinding stone used in kitchen. Then seven rounds are taken by them. Finally, they feed each other.

A feast is held where various kashmiri cuisines including Sheermal, Vyath chaman and Nith chaman are served to the guests.

After the ceremony, when girl reaches her home again for a re-visit, she and her groom are given new clothes which they wore before leaving the house.

Another interesting custom after the marriage is Roth Khabar where a one meter long and two and half meter baked cake is sent to the groom’s house with dry fruits and it is distributed to the neighbors and friends.