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Reception
and Catering
Like the ceremony, the reception and catering should reflect the
bride and groom's overall wedding style. And just as with the ceremony,
pretty much anything goes. Your reception can be an elaborately
planned formal sit-down dinner, a relaxed yet elegant semiformal
buffet luncheon, a glamorous cocktail party, or a casual outdoor
brunch. No matter which style you both choose, you can click on
the links for worksheets to help you plan the reception and catering.
Traditionally, a reception includes the following
broad categories: a receiving line (which you may choose to include
as part of the ceremony), a toast to the couple, a meal, cake, and
music. The only must for a wedding reception, however, is lots of
celebrating. In other words, do whatever you both like to make this
a truly romantic, memorable, and -- above all -- lovely day.
While reception sites run the gamut from a formal
restaurant to a backyard, you both want to make absolutely certain
that your site can comfortably hold the number of guests you wish
to invite. It also must accommodate guests' parking needs and any
activities you want, such as dancing.
Before choosing a reception site, you both must define
the mood of your reception. Even though anything goes, you still
have to define what "anything" means to you both.
To begin, consider your other wedding decisions, such
as the style of your dress, invitations, and ceremony. Will these
be very formal and traditional? It might seem odd to go from a formal,
traditional ceremony to a unique, creative reception ... but again,
it's up to you both.
Once you set the mood, select three or four reception
site possibilities that can accommodate your concept. After choosing
the reception site that meets your needs, keep a detailed checklist
of everything the site has and, more important, doesn't have, so
you can be sure to rent what you need. Also provide the site with
a schedule so the people in charge on your Big Day know what you
expect. Be sure to map out a seating plan -- with help from your
fiance -- and give a copy to the manager at the reception site and
a copy to your caterer.
Reception Costs
You both will probably devote 35 to 40 percent of
your wedding budget to the reception. Some ideas for stretching
the dollars:
- Serve limited alcoholic beverages. By limiting
your bar selections to soft drinks, punch, champagne, beer, and
wine, you will save a substantial amount of money.
- Rent necessary equipment yourself. You'll cut out
the middleman and save a significant amount of money.
- Select a meal option other than dinner. Breakfast,
brunch, lunch, high tea, and cocktails are all less expensive
than dinner.
- Limit the open bar. If you both definitely want
an open bar but need to trim costs, limit the time your bar is
open. Once the bar is closed, you can still have wine, beer, and
nonalcoholic beverages available.
- Always ask about packages. Many sites offer reception
packages, and while these options may give you less room for special
requests, they often come with a lower final figure.
The Food
- There are basically three options for the reception
food: self-catered, catered, or included with the total reception
package. With the last option, you'll generally work with the
food manager from a hotel, restaurant, or country club. Within
these three categories, you can aim for a formal, semiformal,
or casual menu.
A Caterer
Some hotels and especially private establishments
such as museums or historical buildings do not offer food preparation
services. In these cases, you need to hire a caterer. Make sure
you choose a caterer you can trust who is experienced in weddings.
Then let this person be your guide. Your caterer is an expert, and
considering the fact that you're paying for his or her services,
you might as well sit back and enjoy the help. Also, you both should
insist on a tasting session before choosing a caterer. Give very
careful second thoughts to anyone unwilling to provide this service.
Once you both have settled on a caterer, keep a worksheet
on all of his or her contact information as well as details about
the menu, including costs.
A Food Manager
This person -- while technically working for a private
club, hotel, restaurant, or country club -- should be handled just
the same as a caterer. Again, you need to be certain to find one
that you're comfortable working with, and you need to sample the
food offered before you make any decisions. Food managers should
be able to accommodate special requests, although sometimes on a
more limited scale.
A Self-Catered Affair
You may choose to prepare all of the food yourselves.
If you both are planning a small, intimate reception, this is sometimes
an option that can save some money. If you both choose this, be
sure to go into it with your eyes wide open. The secret is to plan
ahead, ask for help, choose as many make-ahead-and-freeze courses
as possible, and organize, organize, organize.
The Cake
The wedding cake should be a work of creative art
as well as a delicious dessert. Many reception sites and caterers
include the cake with their wedding packages, but you may prefer
to select a baker on your own. If doing so, you both first need
to select a cake type, size, and style.
The number of tiers is dictated by sheer preference,
budget, or the number of guests you need to feed. The icing is generally
white, but the inside can be whatever flavor you desire.
Generally speaking, it is the outside cake decorations
that most affect cost. The inside follows no standard rules and
can be any flavor. As with the food, insist on a tasting session
before you choose a baker. Also keep a detailed list of important
information about the baker you've chosen that includes fees and
specifics about the cake.
The Groom's Cake
The groom's cake is an old Southern tradition that
fades in and out of favor. While it is certainly not mandatory,
it does add a sweet touch to the day. This cake, generally chocolate
cake with chocolate icing (as opposed to the bride's white cake),
is cut, placed in take-home boxes, and given to guests upon departure.
Legend has it that a single girl who places this cake under her
pillow will dream of the man she will marry.
Many women have a picture of their dream wedding
gown in their head long before they even meet the man they want
to marry. But wedding attire involves more than just the bride's
white dress. Check the next section for helpful tips on selecting
the perfect wedding attire for the bride and groom.
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